Being Single

It can be so hard sometimes, being single.  I love my life, I love where God has me right now, I love the fact that He’s working on my heart to make me a better person and to have a closer walk with Him.

It can still be hard, being single.

There was a wedding shower at my church today for a great couple.  They are so sweet and kind!  I had to kick him out of the kitchen area – he was going to help set up the drinks, hand out food, etc.  They are both hard workers!  You can always count on them to help out wherever needed and, most of all, to do it to the best of their ability with a willing heart.  I truly love them!

But as I was standing there, helping direct games, announcing different things, etc., it hit me that I’m approaching the last year of my 20’s.  I know, I’m still young.  Many people out there wish they were my age.  I have plenty of time.  Yes, I’ve heard it all.  But, for me, right now is hard.  I have learned to be content – I am content with where God has me.  I don’t mind being single.  That doesn’t mean it isn’t hard sometimes, especially when you see others finding the soulmate God picked out for them.  I know that, if it’s His will for me to marry someday, He already has the man that is right for me all picked out, and He’s just waiting for the right time to bring the two of us together.  But it’s hard to be patient, ya know?

Then again, He might have a plan for me to remain single.  I know there’s no way I could do as much in ministry as I currently am if I were married.  And right now, I’m needed (that’s a good feeling!).  But that can be hard, too, when you can’t tell if your efforts are making a difference or not.

Even writing this blog has become an exercise in patience; I don’t even know if anyone’s really reading it.  Will they read it when they see the title?  Or the first few sentences about being single?  Maybe.  Maybe I can help someone who struggles with the same things I do, can help them to learn from my mistakes and my trials.

So what’s a gal to do?  Read my Bible.  Pray.  The only thing that helps me to get out of the “poor me, I’m single” dumps is to pray, and remember that Jesus is the Lover of my soul!  He is my Bridegroom; He is the One that will never, EVER leave me or forsake me!  Though it is nice to have friends, as long as I have my Friend that showed me true love – “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends” – I can muddle on without them.  I love my friends, and I know they love me – but, sorry ya’ll, I love Jesus more :).  And if Mr. Right never makes an appearance – I’ll be okay.  My Bridegroom is jealous – He wants me to love Him better than anything else!

It’s like one of my earlier blog posts – God knows the desires of my heart.  He also knows what is best for me.  I have to surrender my will to Him, humble myself to Him and pray that His will for me becomes my desires – that is, my desires change into what is in His will for me.  As my walk with God is getting closer than it’s ever been (another thing that would be hard to do if I were in a relationship), I’m finding it easier and easier to be content with where I am, while desiring more and more of God.

That doesn’t mean that I don’t struggle.  Because I do.  I’m  certainly not perfect.  And sometimes the struggles are hard to bear.  But the difference is – I know God is there to pick me up.  I know He will keep me from falling too far.  And I know that He has a perfect plan for me, and that His timing is perfect; I just need to be patient.

Ah, patience.  The most difficult virtue (for me, at least) to achieve.  Maybe God is trying to teach me something here… So grateful for my God – the Lover of my soul – Who cares enough about me to teach me something, even though I’ve failed Him so many times!

Maybe, just maybe, being single will help me attain a love for God so deep, a relationship with Him so strong, and a patience so real, that I will be able to help others find the same thing.

Being single?  Might be the perfect way to serve Him.



10 thoughts on “Being Single

  1. You mentioned prayer but don’t forget fasting! That is the sure fire way to kill all of those lonely desires too! You are looking at it the perfect point of view. A lot of people think that it’s automatically God’s will that they find someone but what if it’s not, will they still love and serve the Lord? No matter what you are choosing to stay in his will and trust his ways. That is the best thing to do. You are a very beautiful lady with a kind heart that will make any man happy to have you as a wife. So continue trusting and believing in Gods will for your life. He has great things in store for you:}

    love u Melissa

  2. Thank you..i am 39years old and still single, never married but am waiting in the Lord…
    Your article sure helps..
    In Him,
    Sharon Robert

    • I’m glad that it helps you – it isn’t easy, waiting on the Lord. But the rewards are ever so nice! Praying for the Lord to do a great work in you, and honor you for your commitment to Him.

    • Hi Tara,

      I’m so sorry not to have responded to you before now! I wanted to tell you, though, don’t give up. God’s got a plan for you. The desire to have a husband, and all the things that go with that relationship, and the desire to have kids, are all things that come from God. He created us with those desires. That doesn’t mean that those specific things are in His plan, however. Instead, God often wants us to learn how to channel those desires into a way to work for Him and His kingdom. In my case, I am very involved in my church’s Sunday School, and I am sort of an adopted “Auntie” to many of the children there. The best part is, like an auntie, I get to give the kids back when I’m done having fun with them ;).

      Don’t give up! God has a perfect plan in store for you. Until you figure out what it is, Tara, do what you can to further His kingdom that helps to answer your desires. I’ll be praying for you! God bless!

  3. Thank you for writing this. I am single now after almost 9 years of marriage. I am in a place that I NEVER expected to be but here I am. I also have 3 young children. It’s hard because I feel like I don’t really fit in anywhere, not with my married friends and not with the single adults since I’m also a mother. I thought I was content here, and still feel I am for the most part, but lately more feelings of loneliness have sprung up. So I decided to use those feelings to pursue God on a deeper level. I know I won’t be sorry!!

    • Marcella, I have to apologize to you. I let my blog go for a while and didn’t keep up with comments.

      But I’m back now. And I hope that you are in better place now than you were a year and a half ago! Having never been married and being childless, I can’t speak to your specific situation, but I can tell you that you can get through it. I know, because I’ve seen it happen.

      My mom was married to my first dad for 13 years before he died. Then, she was single with 3 kids. God brought another man into her life six years later, and they had eight years together before God called him home. Now, we live in the same house and support each other in our singlehood.

      God has a plan for you, Marcella, and He’s going to keep you through everything. May God bless you and keep you, may He make his face shine upon you and be gracious unto you, may He lift up His countenance on you, and give you peace.

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